Newlyweds: The First Year – “Going for the Gold”

Hey, Hey, Hey, Fatties!

Image Courtesy: Bravo

Image Courtesy: Bravo

This week’s episode of Newlyweds was muy delicioso!  We had the baby shower from hell, a brief appearance by Alaska and Kim, the possibility of Tina having a little glitter baby, and Jeff showing us his shady side!  Yes I’m going to get on the beloved Jeff. You too can get it because you definitely need to be talked about for the stunt you pulled on last night’s episode.  With that being said, lets get to it!

Jeff and Blair

Last night, we saw a whole different side of Jeff.  While the two were discussing their respective plans for the day, and while Blair was putting on his 1993 Zack Morris shirt, Jeff decided to withhold the fact that he was going to see an estate-planning attorney to discuss certain legal issues that might arise between he and his husband.  The funny thing is when he met up with the attorney, one of the first questions the attorney asked him was where the heck his husband was?  After stumbling over the question and finally coming up with the answer that he thought he wouldn’t be able to get a word in edgewise if Blair came, he began to ask the questions that he and Blair argued about days earlier.  It was so obvious that all of Jeff’s questions were geared towards supporting his own arguments, that the attorney had to ask Jeff what did he want the outcome of the conversation to be? He also had to remind him that marriage isn’t a business! Insert the NeNe Leakes #Bloop here!  This whole situation was #shadyboots at it’s finest!

Later, while preparing to go to a meeting with a financial planner, Blair asked Jeff how the meeting came about? Jeff tries to casually say it came about after speaking with an attorney.  He knew the wrath of Blair was coming his way when he immediately tried to regurgitate the information he learned to Blair.  Blair rightfully tells him that he should have been at the meeting as well.  At that point, all I could think about was Blair saying in a previous episode, “ I pay more, Jeff!” Anyway, we next see them at the meeting with the financial advisor who tells them that if Blair’s name is added to the house, they would have to pay an expensive Federal gift tax.  This comes as a result of gay marriage not being legal in California.  As a result of this expense, it seems as if Blair concedes.  Given Blair is a faithful reader of REALITYFATTY.COM, thanks boo, I wanted to remind him of the idea he had earlier to make Jeff include the gifting of the house in his will.  Just some advice between girlfriends!

Courtesy of Bravo Omg, Jeff is acting Shady!

Courtesy of Bravo
Omg, Jeff is acting Shady!

Alaska and Kim

Alaska and Kim were barely seen in tonight’s episode and come to think of it, any episodes prior, as well!  I feel like he spoke more in his Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta cameo than he did on last night’s episode of Newlyweds!  I am wondering if it is because he is in Los Angeles most of the time?  Anyway, last night we saw them having a really fun couples bike ride through the streets of New York and then having, what was supposed to be, a romantic lunch.  It would have been just that if Atlanta wasn’t constantly on his phone and if he hadn’t left abruptly leaving Kim to peddle home alone!  After EVERY episode, I am left feeling upset with Alaska, due to how he treats his seemingly good woman, Kim.  However, after this episode, I was left feeling really sad for him because it became evident how much he missed his mother and how her loss has shaped how he chooses to handle certain situations. The viewers were able to learn more about Alaska and I definitely thank him for that!

Courtesy of Bravo My pictures small because my role on the show is small! Wahhhh

Courtesy of Bravo
My pictures small because my role on the show is small! Wahhhh

John, Kathryn, AND Ellen

I have included all of their names because Ellen, John’s sister, really went for the gold tonight, and not in a good way! Before the baby shower from hell happened, there was another situation that was worthy of being talked about.  While getting little Dean James Lagoudes’ room together, John tells us how his father taught him to get a good education, so he wouldn’t have to do any manual labor.  As a result of this thinking, he hires someone to do the not so heavy lifting.  Kathryn on the other hand, remembers her father doing all of the handy work around her house so, it puzzles her why John can’t do the same.  Anyway, while painting the room, Kathryn walks in and tells John there is a problem at their tanning salon.  Before she can begin to think of ways to solve the problem, John immediately takes over and shushes Kathryn while she is trying to give ways of remedying the situation. While being rude to his wife, like always, John has a big paint stain on his nose and I just can’t understand how anyone in the room can take him seriously?

Later, the two have their baby shower and it looks like they hit the jackpot gift wise, like they did at their wedding.  There, John AND Ellen go for the gold in ruining what was supposed to be a special moment in Kathryn’s life.  While playing a fun game of “Guess how big Kathryn got,” where the player has to cut a piece of ribbon they believe would fit perfectly around the pregnant woman, John decides to cut the longest and most absurd piece of ribbon to represent Kathryn’s size!  Of course, Kathryn’s feelings were hurt.  One would think this was the only thing that could go wrong at a baby shower. However, this is Bravo, and they always want you to go further!  Enter Ellen!  Ellen decides to vent her frustration of not being included in the photo album, in front of everyone, during a toast!  I’m slightly confused because I thought Ellen and Kathryn had squashed this beef earlier in the season?  However, Ellen said she will NEVER forget!  She then tells Kathryn that hopefully she will be able to see some pictures of her in the baby shower photo album!  Ellen definitely gets the gold for punking a pregnant woman at her own baby shower!  I couldn’t help but laugh!  Thank you Ellen for that made by Bravo moment!

Courtesy of Bravo I'm still MAD! This will teach you to exclude me from photo albums!!!

Courtesy of Bravo
I’m still MAD! This will teach you to exclude me from photo albums!!!

Tina and Tarz

Last night Tina and Tarz had a conversation in bed, which was very reminiscent of Blair and Jeff’s sex convo last week.  Of course, Tina played the role of Blair and Tarz was Jeff.  At the end of the conversation, Tina says she feels alone in the marriage because Tarz works so much and he hasn’t cut back on work hours, as originally promise.  Tarz felt bad that those words were coming out of Tina’s mouth at such an early stage in their marriage but, the two episodes left will tell us if Tarz cut back some on his workload.

Courtesy of Bravo and Newlyweds: The First Year Facebook page

Courtesy of Bravo and Newlyweds: The First Year Facebook page

Later on in the episode, we find out that Tina and Tarz are going to take a nude photo shoot!  This was exciting because I love seeing gorgeous people act insecure over their perfect bodies!  While meeting with the photographer, Tina displays her Big Bird goes to PRIDE outfit, which both the photog and Tarz hate!  Later, they scrap her Sesame Street idea and shoot naturally beautiful pictures, displaying both of their Gerber Baby Butts.  In the end, the pictures came out perfect, as we all knew they would, and we found out that in the next episode, Tina is a week LATE!

Courtesy of Bravo We're beautiful! Yay!

Courtesy of Bravo
We’re beautiful! Yay!

Overall, fatties, last nights episode was AMAZING and I can’t wait for next Monday.  What were your thoughts about this week’s episode?  Did you think Jeff was acting shady last night?  What are your opinions about John? Do you think Alaska and Kim are on the show enough? Whatever your thoughts are, leave a comment below!

See you later, Fatties,

The Reality Fatty

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